WHEN I AM WEAK...

I was listening to Denise Lance lecture. She is a PhD. author, researcher, artist, and disability advocate. Having cerebral palsy from trauma at birth, she has difficulty with movement and speech. A towering intellect, she graduated high school and college with honors. She holds her master's and Ph.D in special education and worked in disability research while teaching students with disabilities. I find her words holy and true in how they reveal to us the myth of independence and the strength of weakness and interdependence. 


“Growing up as a child with disabilities in the heartland, I often heard the adage of Ben Franklin, ‘God helps those who help themselves.’ Since my early years were spent in therapy trying to fix me, so that I could walk, talk, and use my hands, I may have heard this more often than other people. The more I tried to live independently the more I questioned the concept of true independence. We humans are gloriously interdependent, but we fight too hard against it. I have four college degrees, including a masters and PhD in special education and English. So, I am over-educated. But, guess what? I still can not tie my shoes, drive, or feed myself with a spoon. Proud as I am of my academic accomplishments and the tasks I can do alone, there remains a nagging voice inside me saying, ‘you need too much help...you are a helpless child and always will be.’ Society's emphasis on independence hammers me with shame.

What I struggle with most is asking for help. Part of it is realizing that everyone is busy and not wanting to impose. The more I think of it though, the real problem is that I was convinced early that needing help is a sign of weakness. People say that the three most difficult words to say are, ‘I love you.’ I disagree. I think, “I need help” is much more frightening. There are those who will tell us that needing help is a sign of weakness. But, I disagree. Needing other people, needing help makes us human.”

“I am content with weaknesses... For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10)